L,
It’s been quite some time since I last made an effort to communicate with you or even bothered to care about anything related to you to be honest.
Yes it’s true that we both deserved closure, a proper ending or at least a decent one, but sadly we were not able to get any one of those over the past 8 months. I know you’ve made efforts to try and communicate or meet up after the breakup, but for whatever reason they were for, I simply decided to ignore you, because if I’m gonna be totally honest, not one part of me thought you deserved any more attention from me, I didn’t want to waste even a single second for you cause I believed that I have wasted enough.
Over the course of our relationship I always tried to do my best and give my best and do whatever it is in my power to try and give you whatever it is you may want, at the beginning it was like a dream come true, everything fell into place and I honestly thought that who was I to have deserved someone like you in my life, you were my dream come true, a fairy tale come to life, I couldn’t ask for anything more.
As the relationship went by, we began to see things differently, the differences between our cultures and our upbringings started to show, as the guy in the relationship I figured that I should be the one to adjust and bend my principles a bit for the benefit of the relationship, it didn’t matter what it was, I loved you so much that I didn’t want to lose you, but what I didn’t realize was that I was losing myself and who I was for trying to please you and give you whatever it is you wanted.
You wanted to be seen as the star, the center of all the attention and the envy of the world, I was the opposite, I spent my entire adult life avoiding the kind of attention that you wanted from others because I have had enough of that growing up. I couldn’t blame you for wanting that because I know for a fact that it’s the difference of the way we were raised and so I tried to tolerate you.
I am aware of what I am and what I’m not, and I apologize if I wasn’t the guy you wanted to flaunt and show off to your friends and colleagues and even the guys you used to date. I knew everything all along but I powered through the relationship even after knowing that I was making a fool out of myself already, that was how much I loved you, but sadly, towards the end, you saw me struggling and in pain but all you did was push me away and gave further attention to people whom I believed didn’t really matter in your personal life if you were gonna move forward with me.
Our relationship was not meant to be, I realized that, the moment we ended, I knew I didn’t want you back, I knew that I wasn’t gonna make a fool out of myself trying to fight for you and our relationship anymore. I ignored you because I wanted to, I didn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, not because I was scared of any confrontation with you.
But now you are right, we needed closure, and this is it. I am not mad at you, I’m not angry or bitter towards you, we both deserve to be happy and I really am right now, I got to see who was there when I was down and got to thank the people who helped me get back up, it took me quite some time but I got back everything that I lost, but like you said, glasses that are broken can never really be fixed completely, the cracks will always be there, and to be honest, you have nothing to be sorry about because like you said, you were just being yourself, it just came to show that we want different things in life and now its clear that we were not the right match for each other. We crossed paths to make each other grow and learn from this experience.
It’s not a matter of who wins or loses the breakup anymore, we both deserve to move on with our lives without each other, we’re both happy with our lives right now and let’s not add any more stress from the past.
In a way, I am thankful for what we had and what we both went through, charge to experience, we both came out stronger and wiser. I am happy for you if you said that you have realized your own things for yourself, despite all that’s happened, I still do believe that you are a strong and smart woman and I know you would be able to do whatever it is you want and achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. I will always remember you as being both a blessing and a lesson.
Thank you for the experience and the closure. I wish you the best of luck moving forward.
This is goodbye.
K
