Still Standing..!!

The last day of the craziest year some has ever had..

This goes to those who had their hearts broken the past year...

To those who had their hearts broken again and again..

To those who tried to fix it...

To those who failed...

To those who loved without expecting to be loved back in return...

To those who loved expecting to be loved back but wasn't..

To those who broke up..

To those who tried to patch things up..

To those who got left alone..

To those who endured so much pain..

To those in pursuit..

To those who spent drunk nights trying to forget something or someone...

To those who had to see their exes finally happy with someone else...

To those who wanna punch the shit out of the face of whoever that someone is...

To those who shed so many tears...

To those who made a fool out of themselves..

To those who almost drowned themselves with alcohol..

To those who fooled themselves thinking they were over someone already...

To those who made countless mistakes...

To those who risked and lost...

To those who got dumped...

To those who fucked it up again and again...

To those who were caught off guard...

To those who got jealous...

To those who got used..

To those who got played..

And to all others who got hurt...

Always keep in mind that all the pain you've felt in the past will somehow be your strengths in the future.. and that despite of these bumps and bruises in our lives the past year, against all odds, we're still here, standing tall.. Another year older and wiser... Everything happened for a reason for sure.. and whatever the reasons may be, we'll all find out soon enough..

Cheers to all those still standing despite of countless trials in their lives the past year!!

A fresh start for everyone.. use it wisely.. bring it on 2013!!


Happy New Year Everyone! :)

Hiwalayan..!!

Sa isang pumalpak na relasyon, yung tipong mga nauwi sa hiwalayan ang dating magkasintahan, merong hindi matapos tapos na pagtatalo kung sino ba ang naging tama at sino ang naging mali at kung sino ba talaga ang naging sanhi ng hiwalayan.. walang ibang makakaalam kundi ang dating magkasinthan lamang.. subalit siyempre merong ilan na hindi naman kasama sa usapan at problema pero pilit na nakikiusisi at nakikialam, mga nag "aasume" kumbaga o yung mga gumagawa ng sarili nilang istorya at ipinagsasabi sa madla, mga nagmamagaling at umeeksena.. parang mga gago lang..

Madalang at sobrang bihira ang makakita ng mga dating magkasintahan na nagkasundo matapos ang isang seryoso at maayos na relasyon.. pwera nalang dun sa mga dating magkasintahan na nag gamitan at nagsibakan lang at at alam nilang yun lang ang habol nila sa isa't isa, yung mga ganun yung mga nakikita kong okay parin sila sa isa't isa, yun bang parang wala lang tas sige patol sa kaibigan o kabarkada ng ex.. Pero yung mga seryoso, yung tipong nagbuhos talaga ng dugo't pawis, pagod at puyat at ng kung anu anung klase ng emosyon sa dati nilang mga kasintahan, bihira talaga ang mga nagkakasundo pa uli matapos ang relasyon.. maswerte yung ilan pero minsan may masama ding mga naidudulot yan..

Kadalasan, ang mga sanhi ng paghihiwalay na malabo nang maayos ay yung mga pinagbungahan ng kasamaan ng ugali, panloloko, mga kontrabida at atribidang mga kapamilya o kabarkada, at ang pinakamalupet at pinakabullshit sa lahat.. ang pagsasawa.. kung kaninong panig ang nagkamali hindi ko alam, kung nakakarelate ka malamang iniisip mo ito ngayon.. at para dun sa mga putanginang gumagamit ng mga bullshit na dahilan para makipaghiwalay yung mga tangina hindi lang nagreply sa text, nakatulog kagabi, sumama sa barkada, at yung mga tipong papansin na dahilan lang, tangina naman tumanda ka naman ng onti.. niloloko niyo lang mga sarili niyo..

Sa totoo lang, dapat sa hiwalayan patas ang parehas na panig, walang talo at panalo, yun bang alam niyong dalawa na para sa mga sarili niyo din naman yung paghihiwalay niyo, hindi yung tangina lagi mong banat eh "tingnan natin ang magiging buhay niya pag wala ako" o kaya "hindi niya kaya pag nawala ako.." parang gago lang.. pero sa realidad, kadalasan ay ganun ang nangyayari.. pasikatan matapos maghiwalay, pagandahan ng buhay, pasayahan ng barkada, palandian ng pinalit at kung anu anu pang mga bagay na pang sampal sa mukha ng ex mo na "tangina, mas naging okay ako nung nawala ka".. talagang dapat na maging mas okay ka matapos maghiwalay, pumalpak kayo parehas eh, pero hindi mo na kailangang ipagsigawan sa mundo at ikumpara ang buhay mo dun sa dati mong kasintahan.. affected pa teh?..

Sa dulo ng lahat, isa sa dalawang posisyon ang pwede mong tayuan, ikaw ba ang naging mabuting kasintahan? o ang naging mabuting ex?.. minsan kasi hindi pwede ang parehas eh, laging may isang sasablay.. kaya nga naghiwalay eh, at kung parehas man, tangina anlala naman nung dati mong kasintahan.. sablay na ngang kasintahan sablay pang ex, talaga namang mabuti nalang na naghiwalay kayo..

Simple lang yan kaibigan, kung hindi ka man naging mabuting kasintahan, maging mabuti ka nalang na ex, respetuhin mo nalang ang kung anu mang kagaguhan ginagawa ng dati mong kasintahan na hindi kuno nagkulang sayo.. siya naman ang mapapagod eh, hindi naman na ikaw..


-krphclo

Merlion

In life there will always be situations wherein we just wanna move on from something that didn't or couldn't just work out.. times wherein we want to fuck everything up and just move on with our lives living with the fact that we failed.. a sad thing to think about but sometimes that's just the way life is..

Sometimes, there are cases that we tried to do so but in the end we find ourselves stuck in the same loop all over again, wherein we think that we have moved on but reality strikes us all of a sudden with a barrage of memories of all the shit you've been through with or for this someone, emotions felt towards this person and situations that could have been or should have been but just didn't happen..

Countless times have I written in this blog about how shit happens for a reason, about how fucked up courting someone could be, about how waiting could mess up your life in many ways you have never imagined..

The feeling when you have all the reason to leave but just couldn't do it, when all odds go against you but still you choose to fight.. cowardice may be a reason, fear or "katorpehan" could be as well.. but sometimes, maybe, its a little something we call "love"..

There are times when we try to make ourselves believe that we can move on, that we can let go and find someone else, but sometimes there's just this something that separates this someone from the rest.. something unexplainable that even you yourself cannot describe.. the results may go smoothly but most of the times it just backfires on you.. you find yourself trying to move on from this someone but you end up falling even harder..

Sometimes we make ourselves think that we are falling for someone else but truth is we're just using that thought to make ourselves think that we can let go of this someone, a short term goal that might succeed but a long term decision that can fuck up your life forever..

I find it completely stupid to make yourself believe that you are liking someone else but deep inside you know for a fact that your heart still beats for that someone you tried to escape from.. a lame excuse of liking someone thinking that he or she will get jealous or somehow realize his or her feelings for you..

Everyone makes mistakes. and that was mine..

I wanted a reason to stay, I wanted a reason to still believe in you and me but in the end you ignored the fact that it was still you, for once I asked for something to hold on to, for once I tried to be selfish, I went all out and told you everything but I guess it wasn't enough.. I tried to let you go, but in the end, all roads still end up back to you..

Ikaw.

Minsan mahirap sabihin na tangina "ikaw ang gusto ko"

bakit?..

kasi minsan kahit sabihin mong siya nga, sugal parin ang haharapin mo sa pag bitaw mo ng mga salitang yan.

Marahil ay siya nga, pero tangina bakit, ikaw ba ang sakanya?..

Ansakit isipin na marahil ay wala lang sakanya ang kung anu mang kumpesyon mo, ang kung anu mang ang aaminin mo at kung anu man ang sasabihin mo.. pero wala eh, minsan tangina gusto mo nang sumabog at isigaw sa kalawakan na tangina wala ka nang ibang gusto kundi siya lang..

pero...

andaming pero...

panu kung may iba?... panu kung kaibigan ka lang talaga?... paano kung alam mong wala ka lang talaga sakanya?.. tangina masakit.. pero minsan, kailangan natin magpakatatag at aminin ang kung anu man ang nararamdaman natin...

zzzzZZzzZZZzzZZZZZzzzzZZZzzzzz.

Numbers..

Does age really matter?..

Majority of people find their partners within their age bracket, give or take 2 or 3 years apart is average or normal.. same age is also fine as well as just a 1 year gap.. this is the norm in our society, especially these days wherein we meet that someone in school or in our workplace. It would be perfectly normal for people to try to find someone within their age bracket, given the physical state, emotional maturity, common interests, norms, hobbies, interests, experiences etc..

But still there are cases where we meet someone who seems to be far from our age and yet we still want to give it a try.. Looks can be deceiving as they say it, you would think that this someone is about 21-23 years old judging from her face and her body, but then you approach her and find out that she's 27 already.. so, will age matter or is it just a number?..

If its just a sexual relationship then fuck age, you probably will forget about her the next morning.. but what about if your looking to get serious with her? or worse, what if you're falling?..

There are pros as well as some cons, serious, emotional, psychological and sexual matters.

They say women is 2 years beyond their age when it comes to maturity, well for some yes but clearly not all. If you meet the right 1 though, then give the 6 or 7 year age gap, plus 2 for that maturity thing then that makes her maturity level 9 years older than yours, given that you're a 20 year old.. it could be a good thing if you're really into this person, because you would adjust and give up your childish ways to be able to cope up with her and her way of life, meaning you would mature faster than you know it.. 20 or 21 years old are the years (in my case) wherein I'm in the transition from graduating college and getting my 1st job, so the years (or months) in between are spent enjoying life before it starts to get busy.. drinking, partying etc.. And then you meet this girl who seems to be taking life seriously already, stood the tests of that particular age already, has responsibilities in life already.. you really want this girl, not only because of her body, but because she seems like a really wonderful lady.. but then ask yourself, will you be ready?.. someone 7 years your senior, imagine courting a 4th year high school student when you were still in grade 3.. you were crying because you wanted a gameboy for christmas while she was already enduring her 1st heartbreak.. imagine when you were still learning to masturbate, she was already masturbating someone.. given the 7 year gap I would say that that is completely possible.. a hard thought to make, psychological torture, sexual frustration and a mental breakdown.. Fact is this woman definitely had more experience in love and relationships than you did, so all those smooth talking, "diskarteng marino" style probably won't work cause she already dealt that bullshit about 3 or 4 years ago, and trust me when I say that you probably want to erase or never talk about her past again.. a nightmare for you..

Numbers will fuck you up, number of men she had slept with, number of times you think of it, number of times you'll depress yourself trying to dig deeper into her past, number of people trying the same thing you are doing now.. a lot of numbers to be dealt with.. a lot can and could have happened inside that (presumably) 7 year gap.. and it all wont sound so good in your ears, some of it you don't even have to know anymore.. in the end.. you just have to ask yourself.. does it really matter?..

Well my friend, if you relate to all that bullshit I just said and you agree, then give it up.. you didn't get the point.. if you're really into this person then whatever her past is shouldn't matter at all.. embrace it and be happy that its all done, she wouldn't be the person she is today, the person you seemed to have liked without all those experiences she had, good or bad, wild and nasty whatsoever.. true maturity means being able to accept the truths about life no matter how negative or unacceptable it may be.. shit happens for a reason..

This woman probably knows how to manipulate men by this time, a master of this art, she probably knows that she's worth drooling over and that she could easily control men with a wink of her eye or with that smile on her face.. whether she's manipulating you or she's really into you is something we'll never know but fact is, you're the one definitely caught under her spell..

Age is just a fucking number.


-krphclo