"Please don't hurt me"

I may have looked like a maniac or a psycho that night... someone crazy you just met recently, a drunkard berating all sorts of relationships and how it doesn't work, someone torn apart having been hurt countless times... I was someone back at square one, trying to forget every wrong decision I made in the past few years...

I never knew what I was after, all I knew was you were the new girl who walked in that front door while I was sleeping in the couch, I found it funny that you we're struggling to speak english while borrowing an umbrella from one of our friends, that was the first time I saw your face and heard your voice.. I never told you but I called everyone for a huddle right after you left... asking out who the hell was that girl borrowing the umbrella.. "She's pretty" was what I first had in mind... and I set everyone out on assignments to try and get to know all about you...

I never knew you would change everything..

I stopped at nothing to get your attention, maybe at the time I just wanted someone to be with and someone to flirt with... parties here and there, beer and drinks everywhere, breakfast, lunch, dinner... "You name it, I'll get it" was my play..

We never really had the privacy at first, we were always surrounded by our housemates and friends, but even so, I never stopped trying to make a connection with you...

I never even knew my intentions for you at that time, I didn't know what I wanted.. A relationship? someone to fuck? a companion? someone to listen to all my shit?... I didn't know... all I knew was I couldn't take all my senses off of you... I couldn't stop talking to you telling you whatever stories... I couldn't stop wanting to listen to you trying to speak english and telling me stories about your country... I can't stop wanting to be with you all the time since the first day... I never knew what was gonna happen next...

You were that quirky, cheerful and intelligent girl that I really enjoyed being with, you took my head off all the other girls in that dorm... I just wanted you and I just wanted to be with you all the time... not to mention you can drink as hard or even harder than me... you were perfect..

All I remember was that I didn't want to ask the question "Do you have a boyfriend?".. because I was afraid I wouldn't like the answer... because I find it impossible that a smart and pretty girl like you would not have someone waiting for you in your country when all that you had to do during your time here was over... or have someone here see you the way I did... but when you said you didn't have anyone... I knew it... You had to be mine...

Then so it happened... We finally had our privacy in a form of a cigarette break... everyone was inside partying... and there we were, I had you all for myself... You were teasing me of being gay, and I knew that was the perfect play to try and kiss you... the whole "I'll prove to you that I'm not gay" shit..

Score..

but then......

I'll always remember the first thing you told me after the first time we kissed...

"Please don't hurt me"

I never knew that those words from you would change everything...

From then on, we probably knew that it was gonna be one crazy summer..

And that was just the beginning...

Through the Distance..

Oh well... It sucks...

Everyone expects it to be hard.. it never comes easy...

When you know the other one is loyal and honest as fuck, trust is not an issue, and well in this case, its not...

It sucks in a way that you miss the person so much... that you want her to be a part of your every day life and routine, well, she still is, through Skype.. It sucks though that she isn't there when you wake up in the morning, no one to cook breakfast for, no one to take to work or to wait to go home... No one there to make a debate on where to eat or what to eat for dinner... and countless other things that you've grown accustomed of doing with her before you got separated...

No one wanted it to be like this, we all know that if we had the means to be together with the person we love, we will do so... but life has a way of twisting things a little.. We never know what's gonna happen, what opportunities and all the other crazy things coming our way...We have very little control of what's gonna happen next, and we try to make the most out of that...

Fact is, you met for a reason, there has to be something behind everything... I believe in that shit.. Everything happens for a reason... We met for a reason, we fell in love for a reason, we became separated for a reason and someday, somehow, we will meet again for a reason...

Only question is when and how...

I have no idea as well... we can control the situation as much as we can, but truth is everything that's gonna be is gonna be... you'll never know...

It's normal to be negative at some point, ask the questions "is this worth it?" or "is this a deadend?" it's normal to doubt and question the state of your relationship...

But then...

You reminisce and remember about all the happy thoughts and happy memories you've shared together, all the things you've done and all the other things you could have done... everything that can happen or that is yet to happen..

Yes its hard, going the distance is hard as fuck.. but I guess I can say that it's for the strong willed, for the truly inlove, for those people willing to risk a few years of being apart for the hope of being together for the rest of your lives...

Most people say it doesn't work, that its doomed... but for those who succeeded in it, they claim that every minute of being apart was worth it for it made them love each other even more.. the longing, the missing, the countless nights of being alone was all worth it when it came to that particular moment that you lay your eyes on each other face to face once again...

Good things come to those who wait... Distance makes the heart grow fonder... only the strong ones survive... etc etc.. all the cliches and positive quotes about going through a long distance relationship start to catch your interest.. believing in those words, in those phrases and stories of success in such kind of relationships... you start to wish that all those words apply to everyone... but in reality, it doesn't...

It's all about faith in each other... the willingness to go through all the pain and hardships of being in a long distance relationship... knowing that one day... it will all make sense and it will all be worth it... with the right person... at the right moment.... at the right place...

I found mine, and it sucks that we're going through this right now... but it's worth the damn wait... and as of the moment... the first part of going through this relationship is done.. the next meeting is set...

Step by step we will be able to solve this puzzle... and as long as we're both into it.. We will figure it out...

.....together through the distance...