"Please don't hurt me"

I may have looked like a maniac or a psycho that night... someone crazy you just met recently, a drunkard berating all sorts of relationships and how it doesn't work, someone torn apart having been hurt countless times... I was someone back at square one, trying to forget every wrong decision I made in the past few years...

I never knew what I was after, all I knew was you were the new girl who walked in that front door while I was sleeping in the couch, I found it funny that you we're struggling to speak english while borrowing an umbrella from one of our friends, that was the first time I saw your face and heard your voice.. I never told you but I called everyone for a huddle right after you left... asking out who the hell was that girl borrowing the umbrella.. "She's pretty" was what I first had in mind... and I set everyone out on assignments to try and get to know all about you...

I never knew you would change everything..

I stopped at nothing to get your attention, maybe at the time I just wanted someone to be with and someone to flirt with... parties here and there, beer and drinks everywhere, breakfast, lunch, dinner... "You name it, I'll get it" was my play..

We never really had the privacy at first, we were always surrounded by our housemates and friends, but even so, I never stopped trying to make a connection with you...

I never even knew my intentions for you at that time, I didn't know what I wanted.. A relationship? someone to fuck? a companion? someone to listen to all my shit?... I didn't know... all I knew was I couldn't take all my senses off of you... I couldn't stop talking to you telling you whatever stories... I couldn't stop wanting to listen to you trying to speak english and telling me stories about your country... I can't stop wanting to be with you all the time since the first day... I never knew what was gonna happen next...

You were that quirky, cheerful and intelligent girl that I really enjoyed being with, you took my head off all the other girls in that dorm... I just wanted you and I just wanted to be with you all the time... not to mention you can drink as hard or even harder than me... you were perfect..

All I remember was that I didn't want to ask the question "Do you have a boyfriend?".. because I was afraid I wouldn't like the answer... because I find it impossible that a smart and pretty girl like you would not have someone waiting for you in your country when all that you had to do during your time here was over... or have someone here see you the way I did... but when you said you didn't have anyone... I knew it... You had to be mine...

Then so it happened... We finally had our privacy in a form of a cigarette break... everyone was inside partying... and there we were, I had you all for myself... You were teasing me of being gay, and I knew that was the perfect play to try and kiss you... the whole "I'll prove to you that I'm not gay" shit..

Score..

but then......

I'll always remember the first thing you told me after the first time we kissed...

"Please don't hurt me"

I never knew that those words from you would change everything...

From then on, we probably knew that it was gonna be one crazy summer..

And that was just the beginning...